She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
