haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
