Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
