I CAN MOONWALK!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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