Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
