Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
