there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
