Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
