Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
