We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
