I like my sex mixed with concussions.
babies were throwing up all over the place
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
