Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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