I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
