I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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