Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So squirting runs in the family.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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