your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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