can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
