Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
