is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
