our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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