McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
