This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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