So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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