i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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