2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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