let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
