One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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