9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
