I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
COCAINE IS GR8
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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