the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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