Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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