if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she told me i tasted like america
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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