i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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