Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
