I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize