Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
