STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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