dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
not ubering you a puppy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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