I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize