bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
