you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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