Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize