Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
