I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Everything about him screamed your future.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
