If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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