yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
