I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
