I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
