I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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