She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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