So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
