Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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