I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
