Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
