I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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