dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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