My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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