We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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