I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Omg I joined a choir last night...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
