omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
