i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
