Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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