summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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