Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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