he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
