6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
smell my finger.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
