I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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