Dual....:-)
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
