youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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