The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Never joke about your clitoris.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
