kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
