Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This house was built for laser tag.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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